Making Peace with Family Food Pressure This Holiday Season
The holiday season is a time for connection, celebration, and let’s be honest, lots of food. For many, it can also bring stress, guilt, and pressure, especially around family meals. Maybe someone comments on what you’re eating, or there’s an expectation to try everything on the table, or you feel the need to justify your choices.
If this sounds familiar, know that you are not alone. Research shows that weight and diet comments from family members are surprisingly common; one study found that over one-third of women and nearly a quarter of men reported receiving hurtful weight-related comments from family (Eisenberg et al., 2011). The good news? There are ways to navigate these situations with calm, confidence, and self-respect; without dieting, restriction, or guilt.
Understanding Where the Pressure Comes From
Family food pressure often comes from a mix of habit, culture, and knowledge or belief systems. It might sound like:
“Are you sure you want another slice of pie?”
“You should eat less/more of this…”
Comments about health, weight, or what “should” be on your plate.
It’s important to remember: this pressure is about other people’s beliefs, not your worth or health. You have the right to make your own choices and enjoy the foods that nourish and satisfy you.
Practical Strategies to Navigate Pressure
Here are some tools to help you feel grounded and empowered at holiday gatherings:
Set Gentle Boundaries
Decide ahead of time how much you want to share about your choices.
Phrases like “I’m happy with what I’m eating today” or “I’m focusing on enjoying the food I love” can politely shift the conversation.
You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your choices. Practicing a few responses in advance can reduce stress.
Plan Ahead
Focus on eating in a way that keeps you energized and satisfied, rather than worrying about others’ expectations.
Shift Focus Away From Food
Participate in games, storytelling, or other traditions that don’t revolve around eating.
Engage in conversations about hobbies, life events, or memories. This helps you enjoy connection and celebration without feeling the spotlight on your plate.
Practice Self-Compassion
Remind yourself that all foods can fit, and no food defines your worth.
Allow yourself to enjoy treats, seconds, or skipping foods, whatever feels right for your body.
Mindset Shifts for a Peaceful Holiday
Challenge “Good” vs. “Bad” Foods: There is no forbidden food. Everything can have a place on your plate if you want it there.
Embrace Permission: Giving yourself permission to eat what you love reduces guilt and anxiety.
Prioritize Connection and Joy: Focus on laughter, conversation, and traditions rather than restriction.
This holiday season, you can make peace with food and your family. By setting boundaries, planning ahead, and practicing self-compassion, you can enjoy meals without guilt, shame, or stress. The goal isn’t perfection - it’s presence, pleasure, and peace.
Reach out to NNG if you desire support in navigating how to make peace with food this holiday season.
Citation
Eisenberg, M. E., Berge, J. M., Fulkerson, J. A., & Neumark-Sztainer, D. (2011). Weight comments by family and significant others in young adulthood. Body image, 8(1), 12–19. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bodyim.2010.11.002
Written by Kaitlyn Schlangen, MS, RD
Kaitlyn specializes in: Eating disorders, disordered eating patterns, gastrointestinal (GI) disorders and diseases. She is dedicated to supporting individuals across all spectrums of these challenges.